I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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