i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
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Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
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we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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