So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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