I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize