jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
wakey wakey hands off snakey
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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