question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize