How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
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Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
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Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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