Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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