Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Non-Jews are for practice
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize