I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
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Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
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I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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