Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
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How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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