Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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