A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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