I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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