just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize