That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
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Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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