I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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