On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize