She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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