If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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