Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize