You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize