; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize