I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize