I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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