Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize