WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
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My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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