I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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