I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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