Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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