would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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