if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize