if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Help. Why am I so naked?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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