My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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