That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he fucked my hip out of place.
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he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
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Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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