I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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