well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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