He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
PANTIES FOUND
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