He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize