Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
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I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
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You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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