apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
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I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
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I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize