she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize