If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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