And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
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Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
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After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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