I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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