I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize