i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize