Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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