I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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