so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
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We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
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We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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